What's In My Teapot?

There are many things in life that, given the choice, I would much rather not know too much about, intimately. Miscarriage is one of them. And yet, it is not always ours to choose every fork in the road, and when suffering or loss lies in our path, we choose not our circumstances, but our responses... In the grief and emptiness that followed on the heals of my second miscarriage, I did a lot of crying out against the pain of my loss. I asked "Why?" I felt sure that God had all the babies He needed in Heaven and that mine belonged with me. It was during that time that I bought a book on the subject of miscarriage at our little local bookstore that became a very special source of healing for me. The book was,  Light My Candle , Prayers in the Darkness of Miscarriage , by Stephanie J. Leinbach , and the poetry within it's pages gave voice to my grief in a way that I was unable to. Stephanie wrote these heartfelt prayers as her own personal response ...

December is no longer just a time of celebration and song for me. For three years now, it has also been a time when a shadow falls across my heart... And I remember. I remember losing the baby I would never know or name or love more than in thought. I remember it's older sibling gone before. I remember the ache of an empty womb only so recently full of dreams. Miscarriage is no respecter of persons or dates on the calendar. In that December three years ago, I was the mother of two, had already experienced one miscarriage between my healthy pregnancies, and was hoping, praying for life for the child I carried. It was not to be. On Christmas Eve my suspicions were confirmed. All was not well, and my child would not know life on this side of Heaven. I opened a brand-new manger scene from Wesley and watched the children unwrap packages while the knowledge settled in, bitter and consuming. Our sorrow was not in-season. It  was not in-tune with the joyous Christmas song...